Coronavirus Apocalypse Diary
So I’d like to be helpful in this Apocalypse, but I’m having trouble concentrating.
Even though I was born for this.
I have about 3 or more articles floating around in my brain, and all blending into each other; one is about Astrology; one is helpful; one is instructional - and another is all about me.
So I’ve decided to start with me, to clear the way for the rest that wants to come out.
Me, I’m fine. I self-isolate, often. You see, the world has already ended for me, several times; it was often hard to reconcile why it kept moving, outside - where was this hamster-wheel going, so fast, in no direction at all? Just round and round, as Samsara goes.
I actually feel relieved... and a little bit excited, to tell you the Truth.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want anyone to die - however, I understand that life and death are inseparable.
But I was born for this Apocalypse.
I feel so relieved it’s finally here.
The Hamster-Wheel needed to STOP.
And me, personally, I have needed to talk about the looming Apocalypse for a long time… I wasn’t sure “when” it was coming, or how it would manifest, but I am aligned with The Great Unfolding, and there was a Date: The Saturn/Pluto Conjunction in Capricorn (more on this, later).
I had tried to prime my various therapists for the conversation - not dumping it on them immediately, but gradually exploring the timeline of what happened when my world ended, and what I found on the other side - but no one was willing. I gave them print-outs (like this one) but they kept thinking small (shrinking - lol).
No one would actually sit with me in Satsang.
They wanted to talk to me about “being present in the moment” - using pre-recorded tools, that actually prevented them from being present with me in the moment.
Ironically, I am absolutely excellent at providing Satsang for others; but I can never find anyone for me. Everyone’s so preoccupied, pre-conditioned, busy, distracted - and a lot of people are quite shallow; kiddy-pools of spirituality; innocent.
People have feared my depths.
I am an Astrologer, a Tantric Priestess, and an Oracle. I am a canary in a coal mine.
I work for The Goddess, The Great Unfolding, and the Liberation of all beings from the various forms of slavery and illusion that exist in Samsara.
Being embodied, I am also a victim/survivor of great trauma, which has fried my nervous system and brain, a little bit.
The body is vincible.
As a practitioner of the metaphysical arts, that are usually dominated by male-gurus, it’s almost impossible to find anyone qualified to help with the damage that is caused to the female-body, through rape, and various other acts of violence. I will not name names, but some of the answers these gurus offer are just as damaging; I may go so far as to say verbal and/or psychological violence. Impressionable minds deserve better. The Future deserves better.
A lot of these male-gurus get to cultivate Qi and Siddhis in peace, and do not suffer the same black-lightning and interruptions that enlightened women do, that interfere with the development of Her Immortal Body - the one that can push rapists and bullets away without physical contact.
Short of moving to a Shaolin Temple, what’s a Priestess from the West supposed to do?
So, The Apocalypse is here, and I am relieved.
In my time on Earth, I have been raped a lot, and homeless, a lot; it got to the point where I had ended.
The ego, the individual, the person.
I was nothing but a Vessel for the Divine - because I rejected any other invitations.
What was left of this vessel, was to see the world as it actually was - the two main issues were rape, and homelessness. These were not my individual problems; they were illnesses of the world. There was nothing that I did, or contributed to, that attracted or invited rape - rapists are the ones doing the doing.
I literally could go no further until that was acknowledged.
I tried to tell this to therapists - but they still couldn’t hear me.
The rape of women, and the planet, are the same beast. The Rape of The Goddess.
Predominantly and statistically, it is males raping everyone; women, children, men, animals, and the planet. (just search “rape”, and hit “news” for a week, and you’ll see)
They do it for sport. Women who rape (and murder) have usually been sexually assaulted by Adult-Males as children. They become infected with his violence.
There are way too many statistics like: “69,000 female, 9,000 male rape victims per year” and not enough WHO; who’s doing the raping?
That’s where the focus needs to be; the root of the problem.
Globally, and socially, it’s sick, dangerous, and unacceptable.
Homelessness is the result of the rape of the planet.
Home, where we are all quarantined, right now, is The Goddess.
So how is it?
Can you find her in your space?
Is it Sacred in there?
These are the things I needed to talk about with a therapist; The Big Picture. The core issues.
Because I have solutions, and I need someone to help me be useful.
But no one would let me talk about the Apocalypse.
THANK GODDESS ROSE MCGOWAN CAME ALONG…
She changed the world.
As mentioned in this article, there have always been women, working in the background, building movements and causes, refusing to be silenced, but lacking the spotlight; a platform; a group-mind.
But Rose changed everything (Uranus conjunct Venus), and Alyssa magnified it (Neptune conjunct Venus) - and then the Light - the current - spread… everyone ready for an Apocalypse rose up.
That was the first sign.
I couldn’t believe it; I had a therapist at the time, and I tried to use that event to say: “See? See what I’ve been saying? It’s a WORLD ISSUE - I was right, and I know what I’m talking about. Now I can move a step forward...”
No one ever talks about the Siddhis that are sometimes borne of trauma. Oracles, psychics, clairvoyants, mediums, empaths…
So since rape had revealed itself to indeed be a Global Issue, I tried to talk about the rape of the planet. Because I have solutions.
And I need to talk about them, and implement them as soon as possible, because the world is terrible, but Rose McGowan made it better, and pierced a hole in the veil of Maya.
The True Light is leaking out.
However, I ended things with my therapist on that note, because I sensed she wanted me to go away.
The very next day, the children of the world, led by Greta Thunberg, protested Patriarchal Rape of the planet, all over the world.
THANK GODDESS GRETA THUNBERG CAME ALONG…
That was the second sign.
I was like, fuck - I really need to talk to someone about my solutions for how to improve the world.
Meanwhile, I’m still dealing with C-PTSD, homelessness, and the general threat of rape, violence, or assault, every time I go outside. I’m not completely functional, nor secure, and that’s distressing to my nervous system.
My Soul-Purpose is piling up in my head… new information keeps coming, and I can’t structure it, or get it out, in time.
I used to have men online like to tell me I was exaggerating about sexual assaults - well, 1) I’m not. 2) I’m telling MY story, bro - your input on whether you believe it is not required. Whatever happened to listening? To compassion? To being a Sacred Space for others, and deciding to make the world a better place for all?
Ignoring Mr. Invisible doesn't make him go away.
One solution I created for homelessness.
Another was for world management, locally and globally - all very fun, voluntary, organic, and not new-world-ordery, at all.
I wrote a designed proposal for world governance, that is basically the Feng Shui of the planet, and planetary affairs. It’s a blend of Tribal Lore, and Modern Technology.
I even have solutions for the rape epidemic that spans the globe.
These women have created a fantastic solution.
And then there are things I can’t write about.
Even some things I can’t talk about, that I have to find creative channels for.
The third sign of an impending Apocalypse, for me, was the Bushfires in Australia.
So then comes along the coronavirus pandemic… something most of us have never seen before, in our lifetimes.
Whether it’s bio-warfare, human error, or nature, who can say… but The Apocalypse is here.
To stop the Hamster-Wheel; if anyone wants to get off.
The Canary in the Coal Mine is an Oracle; some of us are like that.
I can't remember a time when we have ALL been focussed on the one thing... not since 911.
I said to my friend: "I can't believe PJ Harvey and I are thinking about the same thing..."
Not since the war; which I wasn't here for.
It's an incredibly powerful time for consciousness and meditation and mantras when we are unified.
My New Favourite Thing
I Made Lana a Present.
After being taken care of all day, I'm almost ready to take care of you.
From the 23rd of March, I haven't been able to breathe - two-weeks.
I'm not good at identifying what constitutes an emergency, when it comes to me; I'm usually the helper, but over the last few years, I've fallen into being the helped.
I had Chiron oppose my Virgo Stellium throughout its whole journey through Pisces.
Along with Neptune; which hasn't even finished, yet.
Three women with the exact same birthday got sick, and one died.
I'm surprised I'm still alive.
I only go to hospital when I'm in too much pain to live, or I'm convinced I'm about to die, and am uncertain of what to do about my body.
I knew I would feel so embarrassed if I was just having a panic-attack; I spoke to my doctor about it... I suggested that, being an empath, what if the whole world was having a panic-attack inside my chest?
Since she knows me, she got was I was saying, and finished our sentence. She affirmed: "The whole world's having a panic attack!"
Because, actually, my mind was fine; I was relieved about The Apocalypse.
But my body - which belongs to this world - felt like it was dying; a fish without water.
And it's such a vulnerable and inevitable feeling. You are soon to be just meat, rotting quickly.
I had to tell the Doctor in the E.R. that I was an Empath, and was "probably" just having a panic-attack, but that it had been going for two-weeks, and that if it was a panic-attack, there had never been a panic-attack quite like this one. - you know, an Apocalyptic panic-attack!
He asked me if I'd seen THE WATCHMEN; usually I'm the one asking people about movies and things, so that was cool. I'd always identified with Dr. Manhattan.
I nodded a quiet Yes.
He stopped, stood, and stated: "It takes a crisis to bring people together."
Usually I'm the one teaching.
I felt horrified at the thought of being in America... the country I'm in cares about human life; for now.
It was like a 5 Star experience - apart from all the jabbing, and spilled-blood - I even got a free & nutritious meal, and the most perfect drink of cordial, ever. The temperature and taste was fantastic. It was like liquid gold.
My E.R. Doctor and I talked about the tv show, SCRUBS, and he goes: "I can tell you, the dynamic between everyone is real." I pointed out the writer based it on his medical student days.
As an empath, I did notice one "ego-performance" from the head nurse, which was strange to witness... she'd just been in the newspaper, and was high-as-a-kite about it.
A sweet and Lovely woman who had recently suffered a stroke, and had private health insurance was right opposite me. She was about to be airlifted to another hospital; the head-nurse gave her 110%, and lightly flirted with the male-medics who had come to transfer her. She had no time for me, and she wasn't awful; I'm sure she earned her role, and her news-worthy moment, but as an empath, it's interesting to see someone changed - bloated - by their ego, and it's interesting to see those who are genuinely compassionate and caring. People may start out that way, and end up another.
My nurse was beautiful; compassionate and caring, and shared her stories of high-anxiety with me.
She puts a meditation on before bed.
I told her she was probably a bit psychic, just didn't know it yet; that my being here, meant things were quite bad out there.
And even if I was having a panic attack, my doctor and my nurse treated me like I was someone who just needed some time to be cared for and safe, and told me they had to test for everything, just in case. So I was there a long time...
It was kind of a relief to learn that I had perfect Lungs and a perfect Heart.
I'll be ok for a while with that knowledge.
I found being cared-for, in a private, curtained-off bed, down the end of the room, to be somewhat of a religious experience... there is so much peace, stillness, and surrender. Pain and Pain-Relief. And an angelic twinkle hovering on the ceiling, watching over us, and waiting to take some of us home.
Mardi Shakti is a Tantric Priestess | Astrologer | and Destiny Coach.
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